mi casa sosa (my bland house)

In my quest for obscurity, I need to go beyond my digital footprint and personal appearance.  I must fade into blah my home and physical life.  My abode needs to be as unintrusive as all other parts I strive to turn the volume down to an unnoticeable level.

Guiding principles from a prepper site. 

Just say no to bright colors and elaborate exterior upgrades to your home. Don’t draw attention to your home or broadcast your level of income. Stay well within the average appearance of the neighborhood.

If you drive an expensive or flashy car, park it inside a garage

While I can't afford to paint my home yet, and that my partner loves a strong color scheme, I can do a good bit of other things.  Here are my guidelines.  

• Paint - colors are bold, but many homes in this non-HOA neighborhood are as well.  
• Inspirational homes in the neighborhood - during the pandemic, I walked the neighborhood for exercise.  I pay attention to what other houses look like.  I especially pay attention now to the ones I passed many times without noticing and then one day realize they have been there the whole time.  What makes them fade into nothing noticeable? I note color, condition, yard maintenance, plants, lights, curtains, everything. Here is what they have in common:
• Underwhelming is a great descriptor.  You don't want people to notice anything special about your place.  It is like so many of the stores in a strip mall that are invisible unless you specifically want to go to them.  
• Not on a street corner.  Corner houses are very noticeable since you have two sides of it very exposed and people tend to park around it.  
• The house is well kept, but not perfect.  The paint is a little dull.  The yard and driveway are tidy, but not immaculate.
• All exterior lights are not fancy, but have a subtle, older style that is functional.  The bulbs are enough for security, but not blinding and stay on 24/7, not on a motion detector.
• Curtains are basic colors, or white.  No fancy table lights in front of windows.
• No visible air conditioners in windows.
• Simple sign in yard stating intruder alarm system.
• No tv dishes.
• At night, no glow of tv through a window. Just a few interior lights that show presence, but not too bright or of an unusual color.
• If they have a unique car, rv, boat, etc., it is parked in the back or behind a gate and not easy to view.  
• They have a nondescript car or suv in the driveway, always parked nose in.  Continually empty driveways draw attention, so have something parked over night. 
• Simple mailbox, unadorned.
• Simple, easy landscaping that is pleasing, but not noteworthy. Once again, healthy, but not perfect.  A weed here and there is ok.  You don't want people to see your yard as being a beautiful example of perfection and appear on a Pinterest board.  Plant native things that are common.  In the Northwest, lilacs.  In northern California, roses and poppies, in the desert southwest, cactus, and other hardy plants.  If a plant, tree, etc., dies, remove it and replace it with the same type.  Make it simple and something you enjoy, but remember, keep it underwhelming. If it is too bare, spare, or out of character for the neighborhood, put a few more plants in and blend into the area you live.  
• No fruit trees!  People will want them if they can see them.  Hide them in the backyard, along with all other food you grow.
• No live chickens!  I respect growing your own chickens for eggs and meat, but they are noisy and will be noticed. 
• Dogs are cool, but keep them where they aren't barking at everything going down the street or on the sidewalk.  

BUT, I want to love the place I live in.  

I deserve to live in a place I enjoy to thrive in that is within my budget.  I want to enjoy a nice yard that is wonderful to spend time in.  I want color and energy.  I want cool lights strung around outside.  I want to play my music loud. I may want to fade into obscurity, but when alone or with loved ones, I want a rich life in my home.

While working on this, I got defensive about all of this and it hit me when I walked down an alley as a shortcut and looked into the backyards.  During this pandemic, backyards became a sanctuary of safety and joy. The backyards were unique and fun. I purposely then walked down the street in front and you would never have guessed they backyards had been made so special.  This gave me the answer.  All things facing the front yard and street are blah. If it isn't easy to see (btw, I don't have an alley behind my home, so no one will be peeking in), then make it special, colorful, powerful, fun.  string the lights, have a colorful patio umbrella.  Grow bright, obnoxious flowers.  Get a fire pit.  Enjoy life there.

As for my stereo

I love loud music, but do not play it like that with windows open.  I point the speakers away from the front yard. I am mindful of the hours of the day I go loud. 

What have I accomplished on this list?  

• My unique vehicle is parked way back in the long driveway with a boring 4 door parked in front and an even more boring car in the driveway.  
• My lights are pretty nondescript, but illuminate for security.   
• My curtains are plain on the outward facing part.  
• My living room and tv are in the back of the house.  I am working on landscaping the front yard.  My yard will never be in a design magazine, which is perfect.  I want people to be slightly pleased by it, but not really care to see anything of note.